Oh Kaia, I am crying. This letter is so powerful, so strong, and even though I know you didn't feel it, it's so brave. There is nothing like pushing yourself through fear for someone you love. And then on top of which sharing it with other, baring yourself in these intimate letter. I feel your writing so deeply in my bones. When I started my journey, I could not handle needles and even though I am used to them now and can administer them to myself (still kinda makes me want to puke when I think about it), I don't feel braver for it either, not really. I feel like it's just one step onward, forwarding, doing the thing I have to do. I am sending you all the love and all the strength as you continue pushing and pushing and pushing forward on your incredible journey of motherhood and life.
And thank you, my dear friend, for the loving mention and your generous words about my writing and my sharing of my IVF experience. It means the world to me. I love the ways in which I am learning (through all the moms and trying-to-be moms I know) how wide the net of motherhood is, how far it travels and what it encompasses. I cherish hearing about each journey, listening to each story, each step. It is so powerful and interesting and insightful. I am forever grateful to know you. <3
Emma, thank you so much for your heartfelt words. They mean so much to me because I know how much your words mean to you. You, my friend, are so incredibly brave, too, even if it doesn’t feel that way. The strength you’ve had to create within yourself during IVF is astounding. I hope you feel proud of yourself. I’m proud of you! And so immensely grateful to be able to read your about your experiences.
This was such a well told and engrossing account of what it’s like to deal with fear.
I also used to have needle-phobia. At age ten I escaped from my school so I wouldn’t have to get my rubella shot. I only confessed years later in grade 9 and my mother took me to public health and I got it because at that age I understood I was protecting all the pregnant teachers in my school.
I found the exact same thing during my pregnancies. I was immune to the fear of medical things because my babies needed me. I did all the hard things.
Needles don’t scare me anymore. But watching my kids deal with their own needle phobia was really much harder than having my own.
But we persevered. And I’m so proud of myself, and my children for doing the things we needed to do to keep ourselves and our communities safe.
I think the final step in my medical fear journey was having a stroke and spending three days in hospital receiving shots to my stomach to clear any possible blood clots. Nearly dying really gave me this temporary sense of having to just do all the things to recover.
I say all this, but my former husband and children’s father is still the one who takes the kids to the doctor and the dentist.
…and I still have extreme dental anxiety. I tried to go back this year, but the dentist hurt me and was cold and unfeeling…so I left that practice.
…but I’m looking forward to finding a gentle dentist. And next week I’m getting a tattoo to remind me how tough I really am.
Wake, thank you so much for reading and for sharing your experiences as a fellow needle-phobe! I can imagine how difficult it would be to witness your kids going through a similar fear. I absolutely love that you’re getting a tattoo next week to remind yourself of how tough you are! Amazing. I hope you write about your experience so I can read it! :)
Oh Kaia, I am crying. This letter is so powerful, so strong, and even though I know you didn't feel it, it's so brave. There is nothing like pushing yourself through fear for someone you love. And then on top of which sharing it with other, baring yourself in these intimate letter. I feel your writing so deeply in my bones. When I started my journey, I could not handle needles and even though I am used to them now and can administer them to myself (still kinda makes me want to puke when I think about it), I don't feel braver for it either, not really. I feel like it's just one step onward, forwarding, doing the thing I have to do. I am sending you all the love and all the strength as you continue pushing and pushing and pushing forward on your incredible journey of motherhood and life.
And thank you, my dear friend, for the loving mention and your generous words about my writing and my sharing of my IVF experience. It means the world to me. I love the ways in which I am learning (through all the moms and trying-to-be moms I know) how wide the net of motherhood is, how far it travels and what it encompasses. I cherish hearing about each journey, listening to each story, each step. It is so powerful and interesting and insightful. I am forever grateful to know you. <3
Emma, thank you so much for your heartfelt words. They mean so much to me because I know how much your words mean to you. You, my friend, are so incredibly brave, too, even if it doesn’t feel that way. The strength you’ve had to create within yourself during IVF is astounding. I hope you feel proud of yourself. I’m proud of you! And so immensely grateful to be able to read your about your experiences.
This was such a well told and engrossing account of what it’s like to deal with fear.
I also used to have needle-phobia. At age ten I escaped from my school so I wouldn’t have to get my rubella shot. I only confessed years later in grade 9 and my mother took me to public health and I got it because at that age I understood I was protecting all the pregnant teachers in my school.
I found the exact same thing during my pregnancies. I was immune to the fear of medical things because my babies needed me. I did all the hard things.
Needles don’t scare me anymore. But watching my kids deal with their own needle phobia was really much harder than having my own.
But we persevered. And I’m so proud of myself, and my children for doing the things we needed to do to keep ourselves and our communities safe.
I think the final step in my medical fear journey was having a stroke and spending three days in hospital receiving shots to my stomach to clear any possible blood clots. Nearly dying really gave me this temporary sense of having to just do all the things to recover.
I say all this, but my former husband and children’s father is still the one who takes the kids to the doctor and the dentist.
…and I still have extreme dental anxiety. I tried to go back this year, but the dentist hurt me and was cold and unfeeling…so I left that practice.
…but I’m looking forward to finding a gentle dentist. And next week I’m getting a tattoo to remind me how tough I really am.
Thanks again for sharing your story.
Wake, thank you so much for reading and for sharing your experiences as a fellow needle-phobe! I can imagine how difficult it would be to witness your kids going through a similar fear. I absolutely love that you’re getting a tattoo next week to remind yourself of how tough you are! Amazing. I hope you write about your experience so I can read it! :)