The history of Mother’s Day and some ways you could celebrate
What I’m thinking about and asking for on this weird, made-up holiday
Mother’s Day is a strange day. I don’t know how I feel about it. Should mothers be celebrated? Heck yes. But I would rather be celebrated through universal healthcare, universal child care, paid maternity leave, and, I don’t know, just, like, general recognition and respect from society.
The founder of Mother’s Day, Anna Jarvis, created this holiday in 1907 to celebrate her own mother through a liturgical service. Her mother, Ann Jarvis, cared for Civil War soldiers from both sides, and, along with her friend and fellow activist and suffragist Julia Ward Howe, she called upon all mothers in the world to ask that wars stop taking the lives of their husbands and sons. They wanted people to engage in the “amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.” After Woodrow Wilson cemented Mother’s Day as an official United States Holiday, companies began selling cards and carnations for people to buy for their mothers. Anna Jarvis (the daughter) later resented the extreme commercialization of the holiday, even going so far as to organize boycotts of the holiday, file lawsuits, and be arrested for disturbing the peace.
It interests me how the original focus of Mother’s Day was so outward with a focus on pursuing international peace in order to keep families together. Similarly, this year, I have seen so many Mother’s Day Instagram posts calling for peace by demanding gun control in order to protect their families. But in large part, the modern iteration of this holiday that we see advertised has shifted from both Ann Jarvis’s & Julia Ward Howe’s intention of questioning and peace-seeking, and Anna Jarvis’s humble request to honor mothers through prayer, to a day many refer to as a “Hallmark Holiday,” something that exists to keep the wheels of capitalism churning.
Mother’s Day is also fraught for many because of its exclusionary nature. This is a day that is difficult to wade through for those who have lost mothers and babies, have experienced infertility, or identify as a mother in a non-traditional sense. I firmly believe that Mother’s Day has room for all people who mother. (I talk more about this “mother” as verb instead of noun and the complexities of this holiday in my essay “Frankenstein’s Mother,” in the second issue of the literary magazine The Champagne Room.)
So, what to do on Mother’s Day? Buy flowers and cards? Go to brunch? Pull an Anna Jarvis and boycott the capitalist Mother’s Day tradition, opting instead to write a letter to your mom by hand? I can’t tell you what to do or what is right. Just as there is no one right way to be a mother, there is no one right way to spend this day. Skip it if you want. Throw a bash if you want. Draw yourself a bubble bath or take yourself out to dinner. Ask your partner to coordinate take out and binge watch Survivor. Tell your kids you’d love to have them perform a talent show for you after lunch. Take your fur-babies on a nice, meandering walk. Whatever makes you happy, honey!
What will I be doing for my first Mother’s Day as a mom to a human? (I have been a dog mom to sweetest Cleo for eight years now.) In the spirit of Anna Jarvis, I am going to “help” my six-month-old son make cards for his grandmas. And as for me? I told my husband I want chocolate chip pancakes and some time to write.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend no matter how you choose to spend this upcoming Sunday.